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Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
George Bernard Shaw sent Sir Winston Churchill two tickets to his new play. “Bring a friend if you have one”, Shaw wrote. Churchill replied, “I can’t attend that night, but perhaps some other night, if there are any others after the opening performance.”
Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
A rather old, yet timeless, joke about John Barrymore John Barrymore, watching a tense football game, was distracted by the man next to him, who bragged, “When I was in college I helped Harvard beat Yale three times in a row.” “Is that so?” snapped Barrymore, “which team were you playing on?”
Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
Lindsay Lohan is travelling from Kansas City to Toronto for the shooting of her new Movie A Woman of No Importance. Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.” Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry … we can fly just fine on two engines.” An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry… we still have one engine left.” Lindsay Lohan turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”
Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
Eva Langoria, Britney Spears and a Carmen Electra were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. Carmen went first. ‘I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!’ ‘Okay,’ replied the genie. And off she went. Then Eva Langoria went. ‘I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!’ And off she went. Britney started crying and said, ‘I wish my friends were back here!’
Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
Did ya hear Roseanne was arrested for dealing drugs??? They lifted her dress and found 50 pounds of crack.
Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
Q. Did you see Dolly Parton’s new shoes? A. Neither did she.
Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
Pamela Anderson was driving her kids to Disney Land in her new Jaguar XK (convertible). When they were about half way there, the Pamela Anderson saw a sign that said “Disney Land Left,” so Pamela turned back around and went home.
Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
Q: Why did Madonna get pulled over by the police’ A: Her headlights weren’t working, so she was flashing people.
Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
As she lay back her muscles tightened. She put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refused to be swayed as he approached her. He asked if she was afraid and she shook her head bravely. He has had more experience, but it’s the first time his fingers have found the right place. He probed deeply and she shivered; her body tensed; but he was gentle like he promised he’d be. He looked deeply within her eyes and told her to trust him-he’s done this many times before. His cool smile relaxed her and she opened wider to give him more room for an ease entrance. She began to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly took his time, wanting to cause her as little pain as possible. As he pressed closer, going deeper, she felt the tissue give way; pain surging throughout her body and she felt the slight trickle of blood as he continued. He looked at her concerned and asked if it’s too painful. Her eyes were filled with tears but she shook her head and nodded for him to go on. He began going in and out with skill but she was too numb to feel him within her. After a few moments, she felt something bursting within her and he pulled it out of her, she lay panting, glad to have it over. He looked at her and smiling warmly, told her, with a chuckle; that she had been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. She smiled and thanked the dentist. After all, it was Jessica Alba’s first time to have a tooth pulled. Naughty, Naughty! Excuse me, What were you thinkin’
Read all jokes from:Celebrity (+967)
Clint Eastwood and Brad Pitt are playing golf at their local golf course. Clint is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. Brad Pitt says: ‘Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.’ Clint Eastwood then replies: ‘Yeah, well we were married 35 years.’
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