After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Se
18 views |
 |
|
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Se
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
A farmer is sitting in the neighbourhood bar slowly getting drunk. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?” “So what happened that is so horrible?” the man asked. The farmer then decides to try an answer, “Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.” “That’s not so bad, what’s the big deal?” The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.” “So what happened?” the man asked again. The farmer relenting, continued “I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over.” “Again?” The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.” ” So, what did you do then?” then man asked, intrigued. “I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and continued to milk her, and just as I got the bucket just about full, the stupid cow knocks over the bucket with her tail.” “Wow, you must have been pretty upset!” but that’s no reason to just sit here getting all depressed.” The farmer says, “Some things you just can’t explain.” “So then what else did you do?” the man asked again. “Well I didn’t have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. That’s when my pants fell down and my wife walked in. Some things you just can’t explain.”
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
A drunk rolled into a bar, but the bartender refused to serve him. “You’ve had too much to drink,” he said. “I’m not serving you.” Five minutes later, the drunk came in again. The bartender stood firm. “There’s no way I’m serving you more alcohol. You’ve had more than enough already.” Five minutes later, the doors opened and the drunk lurched in once more. “Look,” said the bartender, “I’m not serving you. You’re too drunk.” The drunk nodded. “I guess I must be, ” he said. “The last two places said the same thing.”
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, “What in the world happened to you, buddy?” The guy says “Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit whore.” “Yeah?” asks the bartender. “What did she do?” “She hit me with her bag of quarters!”
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
Absolute Zero = Absolut vodka over frozen nitrogen Alexander the Grrreat = Gin, creme de cacao, and sweet cream over corn flakes American in Paris = Kentucky bourbon and champagne Black Sabbath = Kahlua and Mogen David wine Blind Faith = Wood alcohol and sacramental wine Blood Clot = Vodka, tomato juice, and Jell-O Bloody Awful = Vodka and ketchup Blue Moon = Corn whiskey and Aqua Velva Coleman Cooler = White wine, soda, fried chicken crumbs, and sand Fuzzy Naval Base = Peach schnapps, orange juice, and ammonia George Bush = George Dickel bourbon and Busch beer Gorbachev = Vodka with a splash of port wine Honeydew the Dishes = Midori and Dawn Marie Antoinette = Bourbon, cake mix, and flat beer Martinizer = Gin, vermouth, and carbon tetrachloride Mary Poppins = Vodka, tomato juice, and a spoonful of sugar Mexican Hairless = Tequila and Minoxidil Oil of Ole = Mazola and Sangria Peter, Paul, and Mary = Potassium nitrate, Paul Masson wine, and tomato juice Phillips’ Screwdriver = Vodka, orange juice, and milk of magnesia Port in a Storm = Red wine and rainwater Quack Doctor = Cold duck and Dr. Pepper A Rum with a View = Bacardi and Visine Rum-Pole of the Bailey = Bacardi rum, Popov vodka, and Bailey’s Irish Cream Sake-to-me = Rice wine, punch, and nitrous oxide Scotch Tapeworm = Dewar’s and Mescal Shipwreck = Cutty Sark on the rocks Short Wave = Ripple in a shot glass, ginger, syrup, and pomegranate Sinead O’Connor = Irish whiskey and Nair Skid Roe = Muscatel and caviar Sour Kraut = Schnapps and lemon juice Sundae Driver = Vodka, orange juice, and ice cream Tequila Mockingbird = Jose Cuervo and birdseed
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!” “What do you mean? I’m fine.” “What about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.” “Well,” said the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the Doc fixed me up, and I’m fine, really.” “Oh yeah? Well what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands.” “We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really.” “Oh,” said the bartender, “what about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes.” “One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye.” “You’re kidding,” said the bartender, “you couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird crap!” “Well, I really wasn’t used to the hook yet.”
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says “win $10,000; ask bartender for details”. He asks and the bartender says “well, you see that man at the end of the bar?”. the drunk looks over and sees a huge, burley dude. the bartender says “if you can knock him out with one punch, you go to the second step… The drunk says ok and orders a double shot of whiskey. he belts that down, walks to the end of the bar and POW!, knocks the big dude out. he orders another double, belts it down, walks to the door, steps inside and closes the door. BAM, CRASH, GROWL is all the bartender and patrons can hear for a few minutes and then total silence. five minutes later, the drunk walks out of the room bloody, clothes shredded. He orders another double, drinks it and says “o.k., where’s the hooker with the sore tooth?”.
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a look at their beer consumption. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn’t drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Se
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1636)
A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch. The bartender, believing that the customer will not be able to tell the difference, pours him a shot of the cheap 3-year-old house scotch that has been poured into an empty bottle of the good stuff. The man takes a sip and spits the scotch out on the bar and reams the bartender. “This is the cheapest 3-year-old scotch you can buy. I’m not paying for it. Now, give me a good 12-year-old scotch.” The bartender, now feeling a bit of a challenge, pours him a scotch of much better quality, 6-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip and spits it out on the bar. “This is only 6-year-old scotch. I won’t pay for this, and I insist on, a good, 12-year-old scotch. The bartender finally relents and serves the man his best quality, 12-year-old scotch. The man sips the drink and says, “Now that’s more like it.” An old drunk from the end of the bar, who has witnessed the entire episode, walks down to the finicky scotch drinker and sets a glass down in front of him and asks, “What do you think of this?” The scotch expert takes a sip, and in disgust, violently spits out the liquid yelling “Why, this tastes like piss,” to which the old drunk replies, “That’s right, now tell me how old I am.”
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
Processing your request, Please wait....