I always know when it’s the mother in law knocking at the door the mice throw themselves in the traps.
21 views |
 |
|
Read all jokes from:In-law (+105), Mouse (+30)
Processing your request, Please wait....
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1637), Mouse (+30)
A man goes in a bar. A mouse jumps out of his pocket. The bartender says, “Nice mouse.”
The man says, “He’s not an ordinary mouse, he talks.”
The bartender says, “Oh yea, what about?”
The man says, “See that woman at the end of the bar? The mouse will tell me what color panties she has on.”
The bartender says, “Really? I gotta see this.”
The man points to the woman and says to mouse, “Mouse: woman!”
The mouse runs down and sees the woman’s panties from the floor and comes back and says “pink.”
“Wow,” the bartender says. “Will he do that for me?”
The man says, “Sure.”
The bartender sees a woman sitting at a table, points to her, and says, “Mouse: woman!”
The mouse runs out, comes tearing back, bounces off the bar into the bartenders pocket shaking like a leaf.
The bartender says, “What’s wrong with you?”
The mouse says, “I taught I taw a puddy tat!”
12 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Marriage (+787), Mouse (+30), Sex (+4816)
One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door.
The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard.
The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home and woke up his wife but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket.
“Don’t be afraid, darling,” said the man. “Wait until I tell you about this.”
“Get out of here!” cried his wife. “And take that sex maniac with you!”
37 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5201), Bar (+1637), Mouse (+30)
Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The first mouse slams down a shot and says, “I play with mouse
traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it’s closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.”
And with that he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams down a shot and says, “That’s nothing. I take those Decon tablets, cut ‘em up, and snort ‘em just for the
fun of it.” And with that he slams another shot.
The third mouse slams down a shot, gets up and walks away. The first two mice look at each other, and then turn to the third
mouse and ask, “Where the hell are you going?”
The third mouse stops and replies, “I’m going home to fuck the cat.”
59 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5201), Mouse (+30)
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.
The mother mouse goes, “BARK!” and the cat runs away.
“See?” says the mother mouse to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”
19 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Bar (+1637), Mouse (+30)
A beer was spilt on the barroom floor,
And the bar was closed for the night…
And out of his hole, crawled a little brown mouse,
Who made a funny sight…
He lapped up that beer, on the barroom floor,
And back on his haunches he sat…
And all through the night you could hear him yell,
“Bring on the damn cat!”
64 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Mouse (+30)
An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: “Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..”
The eagle says “What do you want?”
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a Moment and then says “ohh about 5,000 ft.”
The mouse then replies “You wouldn’t be shittin me now would ya?”
21 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Mouse (+30)
An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: “Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..”
The eagle says “What do you want?”
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a Moment and then says “ohh about 5,000 ft.”
The mouse then replies “You wouldn’t be shittin me now would ya?”
26 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5201), Mouse (+30), Sex (+4816)
A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in.
“Get a load of her” said the mouse, “what a babe!”
“Well, why not try your luck?” replied the lion.
So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five
minutes they’re out the door and into the night. The next day, the lion was drinking in the bar, when the mouse staggered in. The
mouse is completely worn out, and can hardly hold himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink down his
throat and said, “What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?”
The mouse replied, “Yeah, she was really something, we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back
to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I’ve never had a night like it!”
“But how come you look like you’re so exhausted?” asked the lion.
“Well” said the mouse, “between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!”
42 views |
|
|
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5201), Mouse (+30), Sex (+4816)
One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by
what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated his amazing
performance by raping a German Sheppard. The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home
and woke up his wife but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket.
“Don’t be afraid, darling,” said the man. “Wait until I tell you about this.”
“Get out of here!” cried his wife. “And take that sex maniac with you!”
43 views |
|
|