Read all jokes from: Chicken (+17), Horse (+16)
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my ‘thingy’ and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
52 views |
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Read all jokes from: Chicken (+17)
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken passed him up. The man noticed the chicken had three legs. So, he followed to chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs.
He asked the farmer “What’s up with these chickens?”
The farmer said “Well, everybody likes chicken legs. I bred a three legged bird. I’m going to be a millionaire.”
The man asked him how they tasted.
The farmer said “Don’t know, haven’t caught one yet.”
43 views |
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Read all jokes from: Chicken (+17), Horse (+16)
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my ‘thingy’ and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
27 views |
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Read all jokes from: Chicken (+17)
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken passed him up. The man noticed the chicken had three legs. So, he followed to chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs.
He asked the farmer “What’s up with these chickens?”
The farmer said “Well, everybody likes chicken legs. I bred a three legged bird. I’m going to be a millionaire.”
The man asked him how they tasted.
The farmer said “Don’t know, haven’t caught one yet.”
14 views |
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Read all jokes from: Animals (+5198), Chicken (+17)
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken, with a satisfied smile on it’s face, is leaning up against the headboard smoking a ciggy.
The egg, looking pissed off, grabs the sheets, rolls over, and says “Well I guess we just answered THAT question!”
30 views |
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Read all jokes from: Chicken (+17)
A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken passed him up. The man noticed the chicken had three legs. So, he followed to chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs.
He asked the farmer “What’s up with these chickens?”
The farmer said “Well, everybody likes chicken legs. I bred a three legged bird. I’m going to be a millionaire.”
The man asked him how they tasted.
The farmer said “Don’t know, haven’t caught one yet.”
17 views |
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Read all jokes from: Chicken (+17), Little Johnny (+647), Military (+607), School (+377)
One day at the end of class little Billy’s teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell a story.
Suzy said, “Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road.”
The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Suzy replies, “Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.”
Next is little Lucy. “Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched.”
The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Lucy replies “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.”
Last is little Billy. “My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands”.
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.
Billy replies, “Don’t fuck with uncle Ted when he’s been drinking.”
73 views |
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Read all jokes from: Animals (+5198), Chicken (+17)
A chicken goes into a library and says, “Bok,” so the librarian gives it a book. Ten minutes later the same chicken comes in
again and says, “Bok bok.” The librarian gives the chicken two books, but being a bit curious, follows the chicken down the
road where the chicken meets a frog. The frog says to the chicken, “Redit, redit!”
41 views |
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Read all jokes from: Animals (+5198), Chicken (+17)
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken, with a satisfied smile on it’s face, is leaning up against the headboard smoking a ciggy.
The egg, looking pissed off, grabs the sheets, rolls over, and says “Well I guess we just answered THAT question!”
22 views |
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Read all jokes from: Chicken (+17), Horse (+16)
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my ‘thingy’ and pull yourself up.” And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.
33 views |
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