Q: How do you know if you cat’s got a bad cold?
A: He has cat-arrh!
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Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
Q: How do you know if you cat’s got a bad cold?
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
A lady approaches her priest and tells him “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
Q: What’s gray, has four legs and a trunk?
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
Q: Did you hear about the new breed in pet shops? A: They crossed a pit bull with a collie; it bites your leg off and goes for help.
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. “What’s your name?” she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers “My name’s Huey and I’m having a great day going in and out of puddles.” She goes up to the second dog and asks “What’s your name?” The dog replies “My name’s Duey and I’m having a great day going in and out of puddles.” She turns to the third dog and says “I suppose you’re going to tell me your names Luey and you’re having a great day going in and out of puddles.” The dog replies “No, I’m having a fucking miserable day and my name is Puddles.”
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
There once was a toad that was excluded from all Green Toad activities because he was a handsome shade of yellow. So he
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
A duck walks into a feed store and asks, “Got any duck feed?” The duck says, “Okay,” and leaves. The next day, the duck again walks in to the feed store and asks, “Got any duck feed?” Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves. Next day, the duck once again walks in, and asks, “Got any duck feed?” The clerk says, “I’ve told you twice, we don’t have duck feed, we’ve never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again, I’ll nail your feet to the floor.” The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks in and asks, “Got any nails?” “No.” “Got any duck feed?”
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
1. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
A farmer had advertised his farm and was showing it to a prospective buyer. As they walked along a fence line, the buyer saw bee hives and stopped. He said, “Those hives are pretty close to the road.” The farmer explained that the bees just made honey and have never stung anyone. The buyer felt unsure about the sale until he proposed that he be tied to a nearby tree, naked, overnight. If he was stung once he would get the farm for free, but if he wasn’t stung then he would pay the farmer double the price. The farmer agreed and tied the now naked man to the tree. The next morning the farmer saw the man leaning over and very pale. “Oh no!” the farmer thought, “He got stung and now I have to give him the farm!” As he reached the man he gently shook him and asked where he got stung and if he needed a doctor. “No, no, I’m okay,” gasped the naked man, “I’ll pay you double for the farm, but doesn’t that damn calf have a mother?”
Read all jokes from:Animals (+5198)
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion! Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows, The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!” On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it’d been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant -
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