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There were three little pigs that went to a restaurant for dinner. The waiter came to the table and asked if they would like something to drink.

The first piggy said, “I would like a Dr. Pepper.”
The second piggy said, “I would like a glass of tea,”
The third piggy said, “I would like a glass of water.”

When the waiter brought the drinks, he asked if they were ready to order.

The first piggy said, would like a Hamburger.”
The second piggy said, “I would like a Steak.”
The third piggy said, “I would like a glass of water.”

When the piggies were finished eating, the waiter asked if they would like some dessert.

The first piggy said, “I would like a hot fudge sundae.”
The second piggy said, “I would like a banana split.”
The third piggy said, “I would like a glass of water.”

When the piggies were finished with dessert, the waiter brought their check. Before he left the table, he asked the third little piggy why he only ordered water.

The third piggy said, “Well, someone has to go ‘Wee wee all the way home.’”

A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant.
He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The
farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet meant by artificial insemination,
the farmer decided it must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he loaded all the pigs in his pickup and drove down
to the woods and shagged them all.
The next day he called the vet again, and asked how would he know if the pigs were pregnant. The vet told him they would be
lying down rolling in the mud, but when he looked out the window not even one was lying down.
So, he loaded them up in his pickup again and drove them to the woods and shagged them all again. To his dismay they were all
standing the next morning. So, again he loads the pigs in his truck drives them to the woods and shags them for the third time.
By the next morning the farmer is beat, so he asks his wife to hop out of bed and look out the window to see what the pigs are doing.
She says “Hmmm – that’s weird, they are all in the truck and one of them is blowing the horn”.

A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and tells the priest he’s been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever since his wife died.
The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the pig is a male or female.
“No! I’m not doing it anymore!” says the farmer. “And the pig is a female, of course. What the hell do you think I am – a goddam queer?”

A man was driving down the road in the country. He looked over and saw a baby pig in the field. He stopped and picked up the pig. He was driving around town with the pig in the car and a cop sees him and pulls him over.

Cop says “Hey, What are you doing with that pig in the car?”

Driver says “Well, I just found the pig beside the road in the field.”

Cop says, “I want you to take that pig to the ZOO!”.

The driver agrees he will take the pig to the zoo. So the next day the cop sees the guy driving around again and pulls him over.

“What are you doing? I thought i told you to take that pig to the ZOO!”

The driver reply, “Well I did take the pig to the zoo. We had such a good time we are going to the ball game now.”

Q: How did the pig with laryngitis feel?
A: Dis-gruntled.



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