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Q: What does a sled dog that was an Iditarod competitor become after it is ten years old?

A: Eleven years old.

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil- pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for A walk around town. He sees an ice- cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he’s found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, “It looks like you blew a seal.”

“No, no,” the penguin replies, “It’s just ice cream.”

Q: Ten sled dogs shared one umbrella, yet none got wet. Why?

A: It wasn’t raining. (There’s no drownpour here – the Arctic is a desert.)

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It got so cold it froze up and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As it lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the little bird singing, and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and then ate him.

The Morals of the Story are:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. When you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Q: What is the cat’s favourite TV show?
A: The evening mews!

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