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During an auction of exotic pets, a woman who had placed a winning bid told the auctioneer, “I’m paying a fortune for that parrot. I hope he talks as well as you say he does.”
“I guarantee it, madam,” replied the auctioneer. “Who do you think was bidding against you?”

Q: Why do cats eat fur balls?
A: Because they love a good gag!

On preparing to return home from an out of town trip,
this man got a small puppy as a present for his son.
Not having time to get the paper work to take the puppy
onboard, the man just hid the pup down the front of his
pants and snunk him onboard the airplane.. About 30
minutes into the trip a stew noticed the man shaking
and quivering.

‘Are you OK, sir?’ asked the stew?
‘Yes, I’m fine.’ said the man.
Sometime later the stew noticed the man moaning, and
shaking again..
‘Are you sure you’re alright sir?’
‘Yes.’ said the man, ‘but I have a confession to make.
I didn’t have time to get the paperwork to bring
a puppy onboard, so I hid him down the front of my pants.’
‘Whats wrong?’ asked the stew, ‘Is he not house broken?’
‘No, that’s not the problem. The problem is he’s not weaned yet!’

Q: How do you know if you cat’s got a bad cold?
A: He has cat- arrh!

Q: What’s the difference between a walrus and a banana?

A: You’d better find out, because if you ever try to peel a walrus…

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