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Q: What do you get if you cross a shellfish and a rabbit?

A: The Oyster Bunny

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.

The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.”
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.

“You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer.

Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

“Well, did you see this?”
“Yes,” motioned the monkey.
“What happened?”

The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.

“They were drinking?” asked the officer.
“Yes.”
“What else?”

The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
“They were smoking marijuana?”
“Yes.”
“What else?”

The monkey motioned “Screwing.”
“They were screwing, too?” asked the astounded officer.
“Yes.”
“Now wait, you’re saying your owners were drinking, smoking and screwing before they wrecked.”
“Yes.”
“What were you doing during all this?”
“Driving” motioned the monkey.

A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low flying airplane coming right for them.

So the man yells DUCK! and the duck yells back at the man with an angry face MAN!

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for
nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and
teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.

So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the
bathroom in Bill’s yard. After about a year and a
half of Bob’s cow crapping in Bill’s yard; being
ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front
of Bill’s house.

Bob runs over and demands to know what’s in the
18-wheeler.
‘My new pet elephant,’ Bill replies solemly.

Q: What does a cat do when it gets mad?
A: It has a hissy fit.



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