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Q: Why can’t a leopard hide?

A: Because he is always spotted.

Q: What’s the difference between a duck and a cow?

A: They both swim, except for the cow.

On a country road, a speeder hit and killed a dog. The dog’s owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand.

The speeder said, “Looks as if I killed your dog.”

“Sure does.”

“I’m sorry. Was it a valuable dog?”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?”

“Well, I don’t know.”

“Two hundred dollars. That should do it.”

“Sounds good.”

The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man’s hand, he said, “I’m sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting.”

“I wasn’t going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to shoot that mangy dog.”

Q: Where is an elephants sex organ?

A: In his feet. If he steps on you, you’re fucked!

Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.

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