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Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

“I was in that new restaurant across the street,” said one. “It’s so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere–it’s so sanitary that the whole place shines.” pr0p3rty0fahaj0kes

“Please,” said the other roach frowning. “Not while I’m eating!”

The sexual urge of the camel
Is greater than anyone thinks,
For ’tis recorded that once in a fit of wild passion
One tried to rape the Sphinx.

But the Sphinx’s posterior opening
Was clogged by the sands of the Nile,
Which accounts for the hump on the camel
And the Sphinx’s inscrutable smile!

How to Hunt Elephants – QA Style

Quality assurance inspectors ignore the elephants and look for mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.

One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate.

“Whatcha doin?” he asked.

Mongo replies, “My goldfish died and I’m burying him.”

“That’s an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain’t it?” asked the neighbor.

Mongo shot back, “That’s because he’s inside your fuckin’ cat!’

Q: What is HUGE, has tusks, a long woolly coat, and is made of concrete?
A: I don’t know.

Q: A Great Woolly Mammoth!
A: What about the concrete?
(We just threw that in to make the riddle hard!)

© 2015