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Q: What did the lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?

A: They’re right! We do taste like chicken!

* Dogs love it when your friends come over.

* Dogs don’t care if you use their shampoo.

* Dogs think you sing great.

* A dog’s time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

* Dogs don’t expect you to call when you’re running late. The later you are, the more excited a dog is to see you.

* Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

* Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

* Dogs don’t mind if you give their offspring away.

* Dogs love red meat.

* Anyone can get a good looking dog.

* If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.

* Dogs don’t shop.

* Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

* A dog’s disposition stays the same throughout the entire month.

* Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

* A dog’s parents never visit.

* Dogs love long car trips.

* Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

* Dogs understand that everything smaller than it is meant to be chased.

* Dogs don’t hate their bodies.

* No dog ever bought Kenny G, Cher, or Barbra Streisand albums.

* No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

* Dogs never criticize.

* Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

* Dogs never expect gifts.

* Dogs don’t worry about germs.

* Dogs don’t care about or get jealous of any other dog you ever had.

* Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet desk and the backs of your drawers.

* Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.

* Dogs would rather you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

* You never have to wait for a dog. They’re always ready to go.

* Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

* Dogs don’t borrow your shirts.

* Dogs aren’t catty.

* Dogs seldom outlive you.

Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

A: “Is that you mommy?”

Q. What kind of bird is always sad?

A. A Blue Jay

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees
a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says,
“What the hell is that all about?”

The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all
his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some
clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than
watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his
pants down with the other.”

© 2015