Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100254 jokes and pictures!


Your Name:

Name of Spouse:

Address of home I will be assuming:

Square footage of home:

Total Sq. Ft. of human sleeping quarters (referred hereinafter as ‘Servants Quarters’)(Not to exceed 5% of home sq. footage):

My sleeping quarters will be (circle one):
- On a cat bed.
- On your bed. (referred hereinafter as ‘my’ bed)
- On the floor.
- On the furniture.
- On the stairs.
- In the garage.
- Anywhere I want.

No. of human children in my home:

No. of children who might pull my tail:

Previous cat experience (circle all that apply):
- I have recently owned one or more cats.
- I was recently owned by one or more cats.
- Fed a cat.
- Been slept on by a cat.
- Cleaned a litter box.
- Bathed a cat.
- Been scratched by a cat.
- Picked cat fur off my clothes.
- Picked cat fur out of my eyes.
- Accidentally ran over a cat.
- Allergic to cats.
- Chased cats out of yard.
- Cleaned up cat puke.
- Stepped in a hairball.

Any Canines in residence? (circle one):
- No
- No

Have you ever had a cat run away from this address in the last three years? If yes, please explain yourself:

Your Expected salary (circle one):
- $200 weekly
- $100 weekly
- Nothing, just the satisfaction of knowing you took me in.
- You pay me for living with you.

Location of litter box (circle one):
Laundry Room
Living Room
Garage
Bathroom
Dining Room
Pantry
Nook
Kitchen
None (outside)

Cat will have outside privileges? (circle one):
- Yes
- Yes

Cat will be de-clawed? (circle one):
- No
- No

Servant names (List all dwellers of home, including yours):

Breakfast will be served not later than (circle one):
6am
6am
6am
6am
6am
6am

Dinner will be served (circle one-careful, there is only one right answer):
- 5pm
- 6pm
- 7pm
- Upon demand.
- Eat what’s left over from breakfast.

Menu (circle all that apply):
- Friskies
- Whiskas
- 9-Lives
- Meat Loaf
- BBQ Chicken
- Filet Mignon
- Tournados with Bearnaise
- Roti De Porc Poele
- Filet of Fish Poached in Wine Sauce
- Shoulder of Lamb
- Veal Prince Orloff
- Sauteed Scallops
- Salmon Pate

Desserts (circle all that apply):
- Pounce
- Twinkies
- Donuts
- Ice Cream
- Spongecake
- Strawberries in Bavarian Cream
- Caramel Almond Custard
- Chocolate Mousse
- Vanilla Sauce Souffle
- Upside Down Apple Tart
- Crepes with Orange Butter
- Three Butter Cream cake

List three references that I might contact (No dogs, please):

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
A: An animal that puts you out a night!

Q: How is cat food sold?
A: Usually purr can!

Q. What do you get when you cross an ice cube with a polar bear?
A. Frostbite.

Q: What do you get if you cross an oyster with an owl?

A: Pearls of wisdom



© 2015 ijokedb.com