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Did you hear Lassie had a son with a Rottweiler?

It rips off your arm, then runs for help.

Q: How does a polar bear stop a VCR?
A: It just presses the “paws” button.

Q: Why do elephants live in herds?

A: To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.

Q: What do you do when you park your sled in very cold weather?

A: Plug in your dogs.

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.

The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad- cow- disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.”

The other cow replies, “Hell, I ain’t worried, it don’t affect us ducks!”

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