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Q: What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs?
A: Call it anything you want – it can’t hear you.

One day Mongo is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate.

“Whatcha doin?” he asked.

Mongo replies, “My goldfish died and I’m burying him.”

“That’s an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain’t it?” asked the neighbor.

Mongo shot back, “That’s because he’s inside your fuckin’ cat!’

A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,’ Buk Buk BuKKOOK!’ The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, ‘Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!’

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what’s happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was kept repeating, “Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit…”

A man was driving along one day and he hit a rabbit. Feeling terrible he stopped and got out of the car to see if it was badly hurt. To his dismay, the rabbit was dead. Unsure what to do, the man runs to the nearest building, which happens to be a salon. He says to the hairdresser, “I’ve just hit and killed a rabbit in the middle of the road! What should I do?” The hairstylist thinks a Moment, then says “I think I have just the thing.” He grabs a few bottles from a shelf and runs out to the rabbit. Opening the bottles, he poured the contents onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit jumps up, shakes itself, looks around, then hops of. It went a few feet, then turned and waved, went a few more feet, then turned and waved again. This odd behavior continued untill the rabbit was out of sight. The man looked and the Hairdresser in amazement and says, “Wow! What did you do?” “Oh,” the stylist responded, ” I gave it a hair revitilisant with a wave!”

Q: What is the difference between a sled dog and a mailbox?
A: You don’t know? No wonder we’re not getting any mail from the Arctic!

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