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Q: What game do four elephants in a “Mini” play?

A: Squash

Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can’t see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen… Nothing. One of them says, “Man, that’s a deep hole!”

Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. The pause and listen intently… They hear a sound, but it is coming from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with it head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast!

The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say, “Boy that was close! We’d better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!”.

So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across this farmer working near it. The men again put their heads together and figure that the goat belongs to the farmer and the decide to tell him what happened.

“Hey Mr. Farmer. Do you happen to own a goat?”, one of the men asked.

The farmer replies, “Yeah, why do you ask?”

The men then tell what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat.

The farmer said, “Well boys, I don’t think that was my goat. You see, my goat is really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast. Besides, I have him tied to a big, old cinder block.”

Q: What would you get if you crossed a puffin with a sled dog?
A: A dog that lays pooched eggs!

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse”s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse”s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse”s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal- Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down
below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the
mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the
mouse says: “Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..”
The eagle says “what do you want?”
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a moment and then says “ohh about 5,000 ft.”
The mouse then replies “You wouldn’t be shittin me now would ya?”



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