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Q: What is the best way to get a wild Woolly Mammoth?
A: Get a tame one – and then really annoy it by telling it Mammoth jokes.

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!”

Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!”

“Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!”, says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast,” says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them!”

The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow!” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog.”

A couple of hunters from Prague are out hunting, and an emormous bear runs up and in a single gulp devours one of the hunters. Miraculously, the swallowed hunter remained alive, trapped in the belly of the grizzly.
The other hunter runs back to town and organizes a rescue party which heads back to the woods armed with torches, guns, spears, etc.

Soon they spot two bears on the horizon and everybody starts shooting at the bear that’s closest to them.

“No, not that one,” shouts the surviving hunter, “That’s the female.”

“The Czech is in the male.”

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”

The frog says, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?”

“No,” says the psychic. “Next semester in her biology class.”

- 1. Up on the Mousetop
- 2. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
- 3. Joy to the Curled
- 4. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
- 5. The First Meow
- 6. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
- 7. Silent Mice
- 8. Fluffy, the Snowman
- 9. Jingle Balls
- 10. Wreck the Halls



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