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Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:

The French book – The Sex Life of the Elephant
or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant
The English book – Elephants I have shot on Safari
The Welsh book – The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture
or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant llanfairpwll nhadau coeden.
The American book – How to Make Bigger And Better Elephants
The Japanese book – How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants
The Greek book – How to Sell Elephants for a Lot of Money
The Finnish book – What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People
The German book – A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-6.
The Icelandic book – Defrosting an Elephant
The Swiss book – Switzerland: The Country Through Which Hannibal Went With His Elephants
The Canadian book – Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?
The Swedish book – How to reduce your taxes with an elephant.

Once upon a time there were two canaries in a cage. Naturally, one was male and the other female. After many months, the male decided to meet the female. So he scooted over to her side of the cage and said, “Since we’re in this together, why don’t I move over to your side of the cage!”

The female canary replied, “No, thanks!!”

So he went back to his side but found he could stay there no longer. Once again, he moved to her side of the cage. This time he asked, “I am sorry I was to forward the first time. Why don’t we get to know each other first.”

To which she replied again, “No, thanks!”

Resigning himself to return to his side of the cage, he languished about for a bit then made one final effort. He went halfway across the cage and stated, “Well, could we at least talk?”

This time she replied, “Oh, I am so sorry I have been so mean. You see I just learned I have a canarial disease called “Chirpies” and I hear it is untweetable.”

Q: Where do polar bears go to dance?
A: Snowballs

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be helped. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today. The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, “How many pounds?”
The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef.

He then said, “Anything else?”

The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, “How many?”

The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops.

The dog then walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse. The butcher took out the appropriate amount of money and tied two packages of meat around the dog’s neck. The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the dog. It walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house and began to scratch at the door to be let in. As the owner opened the door, the man said to the owner, “That’s a really smart dog you have there.”

The owner said, “He’s not really all that smart. This is the second time this week he forgot his key.”

Q: What would happen if a dairy cow exploded?
A: Udder madness!

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