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While waiting for a bus, the blind man’s dog decided to tinkle all over the blind man’s legs.

A passerby commented to the blind man, “What! That dog just relieved himself all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?”

To which the blind man replied, “Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him.”

Q: What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A: A mice cream cone.

Q: What’s the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
A: About 40 pounds

1. It’s not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m.

2. It’s wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.

3. He shouldn’t jump on your bed when he’s sopping wet.

4. The cats have every right to be in the living room.

5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid

6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk

7. Just because I’m eating, doesn’t mean you can.

8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I’m not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once.

9. No, it’s my food….Oh alright then, just a small piece.

Q: What’s an ig?
A: A snow house without a loo!

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