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Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class,and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this.
Jimmy’s hand shoots up. “Not correct, Miss!” he says.
“Please explain, Jimmy,” replies the teacher.
“Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The neighbours’ Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went “ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!”, and before he could say “FUCK OFF!”, the dog ate him!”

A boy and girl octopus out on a date walked down the street arm in arm in arm in arm…

I went for a job interview as a Blacksmith yesterday, he said ‘Have you ever shoe’d a horse?’

I said ‘No, but I’ve told a donkey to fuck off …’

Q: Why are frogs so happy?

A: They eat whatever bugs them!

Q: What’s the worst thing about washing your cat?
A: Getting the fur off your tongue afterwards.

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