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A little bird was flying south for the winter. It got so cold it froze up and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As it lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the little bird singing, and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and then ate him.

The Morals of the Story are:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. When you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Q: What is the cat’s favourite TV show?
A: The evening mews!

A snail slides into a bar and goes up to the barman and says “I’ll have a pint of Lager, please.”

The barman is astounded and says, “Get off it, you’re a bloody snail!” and he picks up the snail and throws him out of the door and across the street.

A year later the barman is working again, when he feels a little tap on his ankle as he is collecting glasses.

He looks down and the snail says, “What the heck did you do that for?”

Q: Why do Mammoths sometimes walk on two feet?
A: To give Squallhoots a chance.

Q: What do you call little bugs that live on the moon?
A: Luna-ticks.



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