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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.

Q: Why don’t the monkeys in the jungle play poker any more?
A: There are just too many Cheetahs.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Because he was dead!

Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
A: She was stapled to the first one!

Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Peer Pressure!

Q. Did you hear Lassie had a son with a Rottweiler?

A. It rips off your arm, then runs for help.

Q: What do stylish frogs wear?

A: Jumpsuits!

Q: What did the polar bear say to the tourist who left the tundra buggy?
A: “Why don’t you just have a good scream and get it over with.”

I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep.
In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.



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