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Q: What would you get if you crossed a puffin with a sled dog?
A: A dog that lays pooched eggs!

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse”s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse”s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse”s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal- Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.

An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down
below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the
mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the
mouse says: “Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..”
The eagle says “what do you want?”
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a moment and then says “ohh about 5,000 ft.”
The mouse then replies “You wouldn’t be shittin me now would ya?”

Q: What time does a duck wake up at?
A: At the quick of dawn!!

Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.

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