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The humans’ U.S. Treasury Department is contemplating changing the look of U.S. currency again. Despite all the recent changes, the bills are too easy to forge. As long as they are going to change things, why not put pictures of CATS on the new currency instead of presidents. Everyone knows WE’VE been running things since Day One anyway! The nominations for Cats on Currency are:

* Cat in the Hat
We don’t need a reason why,
Be it girl or just a guy,
Just a cat within a hat,
No better reason than just that!

* Morris
Still finicky after all these years.

* Cheshire
Cat proverb: “Always keep a smile on your face. Makes ‘em wonder what you’ve been up to.”

* Mr. Snookums
Perhaps the most famous cartoon cat at the turn of Y2Kitty.

* Mr. Bigglesworth
Big Owner to Cat: “Oh, Behave!”
Cat to Big Owner: Zip it!

* Puss’N Boots
“One of these days these boots are going to walk all over you…”

* Salem
Best comedic timing of any cat – or human – on Television.

* Felix
A pioneer. If it weren’t for that funky first name…

* Sylvester
… No otha, my brotha…

* Snagglepuss
Just barely made my lisp, I mean list. But also the first to: Exit stage left…

And my winner of Feline Dollar fame is:

Now I must decide between Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt, Lee Merriwether, or Michelle Pfeiffer! Oh No!

Q: What game do cows play at parties?
A: Moosical chairs!

Q: What is the worst thing that can happen to a bat while it sleeps?
A: Diarrhoea!

Q: What game do four elephants in a “Mini” play?

A: Squash

Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can’t see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen… Nothing. One of them says, “Man, that’s a deep hole!”

Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. The pause and listen intently… They hear a sound, but it is coming from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with it head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast!

The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say, “Boy that was close! We’d better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!”.

So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across this farmer working near it. The men again put their heads together and figure that the goat belongs to the farmer and the decide to tell him what happened.

“Hey Mr. Farmer. Do you happen to own a goat?”, one of the men asked.

The farmer replies, “Yeah, why do you ask?”

The men then tell what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat.

The farmer said, “Well boys, I don’t think that was my goat. You see, my goat is really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast. Besides, I have him tied to a big, old cinder block.”

© 2015