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A lady and her dog were enjoying a stroll in the park when her dog was mounted from behind by a large Rottweiler. The Rot was really humping away and the lady was frantically trying to break them up, to no avail.

A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the Rots ass, and the action immediately stopped.

The lady was amazed. “How did you do that?” she asked.

The little boy said, “That’s my dog! He can dish it out, but he can’t take it!”

Q: Why is a tree like a dog?
A: Because they both lose their bark when they die.

An Eagle is circling at about 5,000 ft. when he spies a field mouse down below him. He dives down and eats the mouse. After a little while the mouse works his way out the eagles butt. Proceeding to look around the mouse says: “Tail gunner to pilot…Tail gunner to pilot..”
The eagle says “What do you want?”
The mouse asks how high up they are.
The eagle thinks for a moment and then says “ohh about 5,000 ft.”
The mouse then replies “You wouldn’t be shittin me now would ya?”

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he
finds one.
“Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?” the service guy asks.
“Boy,” is the man’s response.
“Oh yeah, I can do it. I’ll be right there,” says the service guy. An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua,
a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some nstructions: “Now, I’m going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla
with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla’s testicles off. The gorilla will then cross
his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs on him.”
The man asks, “What do I do with the shotgun?”
The service guy replies, “If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the Chihuahua.”

Q: Why did the cat run from the tree?
A: Because it was afraid of the bark!



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