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Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

A: To get to the other slide.

Q: What’s the similarity between a Crocodile and Windows?

A: Neither of them has enough bytes.

Q: What do you call newborn kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner?
A: Chain litter.

Q: What do you use to comb a cat?
A: A catacomb.

* Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.

* Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

* Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

* Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent.

* Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

* Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

* Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human’s face.

* Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human’s genital region.

* Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

* Thou shalt not reset thy human’s alarm clock by walking on it.

* Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.

* Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

* Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human’s bladder at 4a.m.

* Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

* Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

* Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

* Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

* Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.

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