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Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a
muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close,
drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will
be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like
muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row.
After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin
(with rasins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bring with you a muffin
without rasins. Drop the muffin as usual. When the white elephant finds
out that the muffin lacks raisins, it will darken in anger.
And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary grey elephant.

Why cows are depressed when milked? Ever wonder why?

At the Polish Agricultural university (P.A.U), the Professor was talking about increasing milk production of the cows, when a girl in the class asked: “Why do cows always seem depressed when being milked?”

The Professor answered, “Well my girl, if every morning at dawn they woke you up, rubbed your boobs for two hours and didn’t screw you afterwards, you’ll look depressed too!”

The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said “No, I can’t live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly.”

“OK,” said the judge, “then you want to live with your mother, right?”

“No way!” replied baby bear, “She beats me worse than Papa bear does.”

The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn’t quite know what to do. “Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?” asked the judge.

“Yes,” answered baby bear, “my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago.”

“You’re sure she will treat you well and won’t beat you?” asked the judge.

“Oh definitely,” said baby bear, “the Chicago Bears don’t beat anybody.”

“I think Rover is getting a bit old, he seems to be going deaf.”

“Bullshit, watch this…Rover sit! Oh dear, you’re right, I’ll get the shovel and clean it up!”

Q: How do you know if you cat’s got a bad cold?
A: He has cat-arrh!



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