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This man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state, really bad now.
Doctor: “What happened to you?”
He says: “I was in Africa on safari and I got raped by an elephant!”
Doctor: “But I don’t understand. Elephant penises are very narrow and couldn’t cause that much damage!”
He says “Aah but you see doctor, he fingered me first!”

An elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horsefly kept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. It was far out of reach.

A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak.
“Oh, thank you!” said the elephant.
“My, pleasure ma’am.” said the sparrow.
“Listen, Mr. Sparrow, if there’s anything I can ever do for you, don’t hesitate to ask.”

The sparrow said, “Well, all my life I wondered how it would feel to fuck an elephant.”
“Be my guest!”, said the elephant.

So the sparrow flew behind the elephant and started fucking. In the trees above, a monkey in the tree saw this and became very excited. He started to masturbate, shaking a coconut loose and it fell from the tree, hitting the elephant on the head.
“OUCH!”, said the elephant.

Then sparrow looked over from behind and said, “Am I hurting you, dear?”

Little Johnny is in class. The teacher is going through the alphabet, having each child think up a word that starts with a letter. They get to “W”, and the teacher figures Little Johnny can’t think up anything dirty with a “W” so she calls on him.
“Womb!”, Little Johnny says.
“That’s a good word, Johnny”, teacher says. “Is that as in where babies come from?” she asks.
“No”, says Johnny, “That’s the sound elephants make when they’re screwing… you know, “Womb! Womb! Womb!”

Q: What’s the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a baby elephant?
A: Eleven pounds.

Little Johnny is in class. The teacher is going through the alphabet, having each child think up a word that starts with a letter. They get to “W”, and the teacher figures Little Johnny can’t think up anything dirty with a “W” so she calls on him.
“Womb!”, Little Johnny says.
“That’s a good word, Johnny”, teacher says. “Is that as in where babies come from?” she asks.
“No”, says Johnny, “That’s the sound elephants make when they’re screwing… you know, “Womb! Womb! Womb!”



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