Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100253 jokes and pictures!


Q: How do you make an elephant fly?

A: Start with a 3- foot zipper…

Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a
muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close,
drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will
be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like
muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row.
After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin
(with rasins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bring with you a muffin
without rasins. Drop the muffin as usual. When the white elephant finds
out that the muffin lacks raisins, it will darken in anger.
And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary grey elephant.

An elephant was having a horrible time in the jungle because a horsefly kept biting near her tail and there was nothing she could do about it. It was far out of reach.
A sparrow saw this and killed the horsefly with its beak.
“Oh, thank you!” said the elephant.
“My, pleasure ma’am.” said the sparrow.
“Listen, Mr. Sparrow, if there’s anything I can ever do for you, don’t hesitate to ask.”
The sparrow said, “Well, all my life I wondered how it would feel to fuck an elephant.”
“Be my guest!”, said the elephant.
So the sparrow flew behind the elephant and started fucking. In the trees above, a monkey in the tree saw this and became very excited. He started to masturbate, shaking a coconut loose and it fell from the tree, hitting the elephant on the head.
“OUCH!”, said the elephant.
Then sparrow looked over from behind and said, “Am I hurting you, dear?”

The UN sponsored a competition on which nation can produce the best book
on elephants.
The British submited a dry historical account “The Elephant and the British Empire.”
The French submited a text “The Sensuality of the Elephant – a Personal Account.”
The Germans submited 47 Volumes entitled “An Elementary Introduction to the Foundation of the Science of the Elephant’s Ear.”
The Americans submited an article from “Money” magazine: “Elephants – the Perfect Tax Shelter for the 80′s”
Green-Peace submited a counter-entry “Elephants – they’re better than People”
The Russians submited a terse manuscript titled “The superiority of the Soviet Elephant”
And submited a poem “The Joy and Freedom Brought forth by the Soviet Elephant.”
But the Japanese won with their Promotional Flier “We have no Elephants but wouldn’t you want to buy a Honda instead”

Q: How do you know when you pass an elephant?

A: You can’t get the toilet seat down



© 2015 ijokedb.com