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Q: How many elephants can you fit in a taxi?
A: Four. (One next to the driver and 3 in back)

Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a taxi?
A: None, it’s full of elephants.

Q: How do you know when an elephant is visiting your house?
A: There’s a taxi outside with three elephants in it.

There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches
over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the
same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks
the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle.
“Why did you do that?” the giraffe asks.
“When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason,” the elephant replied.
“Wow! You must have a good memory!” exclaimed the giraffe.
“Yep!” said the elephant. “I’ve got Turtle-Recall.”

Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades. Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill’s yard. After about a year and a half of Bob’s cow crapping in Bill’s yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill’s house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what’s in the 18-wheeler.
“My new pet elephant,” Bill replies solemly.

Q: How do you make an elephant fly?

A: Start with a 3- foot zipper…

Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a
muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close,
drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will
be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like
muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row.
After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin
(with rasins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bring with you a muffin
without rasins. Drop the muffin as usual. When the white elephant finds
out that the muffin lacks raisins, it will darken in anger.
And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary grey elephant.



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