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A duck walks into a feed store and asks, “Got any duck feed?”
The clerk tells him, “No, we don’t have a market for it so we don’t carry it.”
The duck says, “Okay,” and leaves.
The next day, the duck again walks in to the feed store and asks, “Got any duck feed?”
Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck once again walks in, and asks, “Got any duck feed?”
The clerk says, “I’ve told you twice, we don’t have duck feed, we’ve never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed.
If you ask me again, I’ll nail your feet to the floor.” The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks, “Got any nails?”
“No.”
“Got any duck feed?”

A duck walks into a bar and asks “got any crackers?”
Bartender says, “no”.
Duck walks out.
Duck walks in the next day and asks, “got any crackers?”
Bartender says, “no”.
Duck walks out.
Duck walks in the next day and asks got any crackers?
Bartender says, “I told you yesterday and the day before that NO! and if you ask that one more time I’ll nail your beak shut!”
Duck walks out.
Duck comes back the next day and asks, “Got any nails?”
Bartender says, “no”.
Duck says “Good. Got any crackers?”

A duck walks into a bar. He looks like the happiest duck in the world.

The bartender asks, “Why are you so happy today?”

The duck replies, “I’ve been playing in puddles all day.” The duck proceeds to order a beer and enjoy it at the bar.

A little while later another duck walks in the bar. He looks like the second happiest duck in the world.

The bartender asks, “Why are you so happy today?”

The duck gives the bartender the same answer, “I’ve been playing in puddles all day.” This duck also orders a beer and enjoys it at the bar.

A third duck enters the bar, the total opposite of the first two ducks. He looks like the saddest duck in the world.

The bartender asks the duck, “What’s wrong with you?”

The duck replies, “My name is Puddles and I’ve had a terrible day.”

A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low flying airplane coming right for them.

So the man yells DUCK! and the duck yells back at the man with an angry face MAN!

A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,”Got any fresh fruit?”
“No.”
“Got any fresh vegetables?”
“No. We have only canned and dry goods.”
The next day, the duck returns.
“Got any fresh fruit?”
“No.”
“Got any fresh vegetables?”
“No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry goods. If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I’ll nail your flippers to the floor.”
On the 3rd day, the duck walks in and asks, “Got any nails?”
“No.”
“Got any fresh fruit?”



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