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Two guys were out hunting, but they weren’t getting any ducks.
“What do you think the problem is?” one man asked his companion.
“I dunno,” came the reply, “Maybe we aren’t throwing the dog up high enough.”

Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?
Scared the hell out of the dog.

Video Helps Soothe Owners’ Guilt

ORLANDO, Florida – Two marketing professionals in Florida were filled with anxiety every time they left for work in the morning. Their anxiety was caused by extreme guilt over leaving their two beloved dogs, Max and Brie, home alone all day.

To help the daily transition, the two produced a video called “Comfort for Dogs” available for sale on the Internet. The video is supposed to help relax and calm the dogs as their owners leave the house and features soothing music.

The video footage is designed to distract the dogs so they don’t miss their owners as much. According to veterinarian Jane Leon, the video will help reinforce the relationship between dog and owner.

Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog’s name was …Willy?

* My Willy ate my homework.

* Oh, no! Willy is frothing at the mouth!

* Sorry I’m late. I was playing with Willy.

* I’m sorry, Officer. I didn’t realize I had to keep Willy on a leash.

* Willy doesn’t come when I call him.

* I love giving Willy a bath.

* Willy needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds.

* Playing with Willy really wears me out.

* Would you like to see a picture of Willy?

* I keep a picture of Willy in my wallet.

* I think Willy is getting old because he won’t get excited anymore. He just plays dead.

* Help! I can’t find Willy!

* Willy gets excited whenever the mailman comes.

* Sorry to be driving so fast, officer. I have to take Willy to the hospital.

* Watch it or you’ll step on Willy.

* When Willy behaves well, he gets a bone.

* Stop kicking Willy.

* Willy is truly man’s best friend.

* I’ve trained Willy to jump through hoops.

* Willy always searches for an open hand under the dinner table.

* Excuse me, I need a muzzle for Willy.

* Sorry I’m late, but Willy kept me up howling all night.

Did you hear Lassie had a son with a Rottweiler?
It rips off your arm, then runs for help.

© 2015