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(To the tune of “Sleigh Ride”)

jingle, tingle, jingle, tingle, jingle tingle,
oh…

Just hear those dog tags jingling
Ring ting tingling too
Come on it’s lovely weather
For a walkie together with you

Oh it’s just like Iditarod
Pulling you on the ice
We’ve got the leashes in our mouths
We’re not gonna ask twice

Giddy-yup giddy-yup, giddy-yup let’s go
We’ll eat all the snow
We’ll drag you around till your cheeks glow
Giddy-yup giddy-yup, giddy-yup it’s grand
Tugging at your hand
We’re galloping after the scent of a doggie parade that’s grand

The other dogs are out there now
Making tracks in the snow
All the best smells are fading fast
To the park we must go

So grab that leash and hurry up
Anxious doggies are we
We’re loaded up with water
So we can mark every tree!

What we say to sled dogs: “Mush! Hike! Gee! Haw!”
What they hear: “Blah! Blah! Blah! Blah!”

First sled dog in heaven: “For fourteen years I survived storms, fights with polar bears and wolves, falls into crevasses, plunges through the ice into the icy ocean…”
Second sled dog in heaven: “How did you get here?”
First sled dog in heaven: “When I was sleeping, my stupid owner ran over me with his snowmobile!”

Patient: “Doctor! I keep thinking I’m a sled dog!”
Doctor: “How long has this been going on?”
Patient: “Even since I was a pup.”

Sled Dog Tip: You can’t trust your dog to watch your lunch.

Why is it… that when you blow in your dog’s face, it gets mad – but when you take it for a ride in the truck, it sticks its head out the window?

The Final Word: “The more people I meet, the more I like my sled dogs.”

First sled dog in heaven: “For fourteen years I survived storms, fights with polar bears and wolves, falls into crevasses, plunges through the ice into the icy ocean…”
Second sled dog in heaven: “How did you get here?”
First sled dog in heaven: “When I was sleeping, my stupid owner ran over me with his snowmobile!”

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.
At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course).
That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little.
The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about “normal” tricks. Well, they said, “let’s try this out.”
Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, “Heel!” Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man’s forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.

A lady with a prize- winning schnauzer figured that he was going deaf. He wouldn’t come when she called. When she took him out for A walk he wouldn’t heel like he had been taught to do. As a matter of fact, when the dog wasn’t looking and she called him, he acted like he didn’t hear her at all. So she took him to the vet.

The vet looked the dog over and gave him a complete physical. He told the lady, “There’s nothing wrong with your dog at all. Look here. He has excessive hair growing in his ears, which led you to believe that he is deaf. He can’t hear you, but he isn’t deaf. You can treat this with a depilatory. I haven’t got any in stock, but you can get some ‘Neet’ or ‘Nair’ at your local pharmacy. This will work just as well as the doggy brand will.”

So the lady went to the nearest store and picked up a small bottle of Nair and looked over the instructions. There was nothing on the carton that related to her dog so she took it to the druggist and asked his advice.

“How do I apply this product,” she asked. “Do I put it on right out of the bottle or do I dilute it or what?”

The druggist said, “For you legs, put it on straight. Right out of the bottle. For your underarms, I recommend that you dilute it 50- 50 with water.”

She said, “I don’t think that you understand. It’s for my schnauzer.”

“Oh,” said the druggist. “In that case, I suggest that you dilute it 3 to 1 with water. And by the way, I wouldn’t ride a bicycle for a few days.”



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