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To go outside, Or to remain within:
That is the question;
Whether ’tis better for a cat to suffer
The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
That Nature rains on those who roam abroad,
Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
And by so dozing melt the solid hours
That clog the clock’s bright gears with sullen time
and stall the dinner bell.
To sit, to stare
Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
A wish to venture forth without delay,
Then when the portal’s opened up, to stand
As if transformed by doubt.
To prowl; to sleep;
To choose not knowing when we may once more
Our readmittance gain: aye, there’s the hairball;
For if paw were shaped to turn a knob,
Or work a lock or slip a window- catch,
And going out and coming in were made
as simple as the breaking of a bowl,
What cat would bear the household’s petty plagues
The cook’s well- practiced kicks, the butler’s broom,
The infant’s careless pokes, the tickled ears,
The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will,
He might his exodus or entrance make
With a mere mitten?
Who would spaniels fear,
Or strays trespassing from a neighbor’s yard,
But that the dread of our unheeded cries
And scratches at a barricaded door
No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
And makes us rather bear our humans’ faults
Than run away to unguessed miseries?
Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
And thus the bristling hair of resolution
Is softened up with the pale
brush of thought,
And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
We pause on the threshold of decision.

Shakespaw

* If I like it, it’s mine.

* If I saw it first, it’s mine.

* If it’s in my paw, it’s mine.

* If it looks like mine, it’s mine.

* If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.

* If I can take it away from you, it’s mine.

* If there’s more than one, ALL of them are mine.

* If you have something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

* If it’s mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in any way.

* If it’s boring or doesn’t taste good, IT’S YOURS!

- 1. Up on the Mousetop
- 2. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
- 3. Joy to the Curled
- 4. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
- 5. The First Meow
- 6. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
- 7. Silent Mice
- 8. Fluffy, the Snowman
- 9. Jingle Balls
- 10. Wreck the Halls

Q: What do you call newborn kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner?
A: Chain litter.

To see if your cat has a problem, ask yourself the following
questions:

1. Does your cat sleep 22 hours a day, and spend the other two
hours in non- stop eating?

2. Does your cat take frequent naps in annoying places, such as
in the center of the dinner table, in the kitchen sink, or on top
of your freshly- cleaned- of- hair bedspread?

3. Is your cat selfish? Conceited? Arrogant? Aloof? Insensitive?

4. Does he wake you up in the middle of the night and refuse to
stop meowing until you accompany him to his food bowl to watch
him eat?

5. Does your cat tear down holiday decorations? Does he destroy
any stuffed toy or cat- sized household ornament which might be
misconstrued as his competition?

6. Does your cat perceive himself to be sole owner of all
property? Does he often show disdain for your taste, or act as if
you are an embarrassment to him?

If you answered ‘yes’ to most of these questions … relax,
your cat is normal!



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