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Q: What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A: A mice cream cone.

What is a Cat?

1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They’re totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They’re moody.
9. They leave hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

Conclusion: Cats are tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

1. Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room.
3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4. They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They are great at begging.
8. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
9. They leave their toys everywhere.
10. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.

Conclusion: Dogs are men in little fur coats.

How many CATS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Persian: “Light bulb? What light bulb?”

Somali: “The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re worrying about a burned out light bulb?”

Norwegian Forest Cat: “Just one. And I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to date, too.”

Cornish Rex: “Hey Guys, I’ve found the switch.”

Sphynx : “Turn it back on again, I’m cold.”

Singapura: “I’ll just blow in the AOV’s ear and he’ll do it.” (AOV: Any Other Variety)

Siamese: “Make me!”

Birman: “Puh-leeez, dahling. I have servants for that kind of thing.”

Maine Coon: “Oh, me, me! Pleeeeeeaze let me change the light bulb! Can I, huh? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?”

Exotic: “Let the AOV do it. You can feed me while he’s busy.”

Manx: “Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.”

Russian Blue: “While it’s dark, I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

Korat: “Korats are not afraid of the dark.”

British SH: “Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I ate was a light bulb?”

Turkish Angora: “You need light to see?”

British Moggy: “None, catnap time is too precious to waste!”

Q: How do cats eat spaghetti?
A: The same as everyone else – they put it in their mouths!

Q: How does the cat get its own way?
A: With friendly purrsuasion.



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