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One day a bear was chasing a rabbit through the forest when they tripped over a genies lamp. the genie comes out and says hold it, hold it, hold it. If you two will just quit chasing each other for three minutes I’ll give you both three wishes. So they say okay that sounds fair. the genie says okay who’ll go first? the bear pushes the rabbit out of the way and says i’ll go first so the genie says okay. the bear goes i wish all the bears in the forest exept for me were girls. the genie snappes his fingers and says done. the rabbit says I wish I had a crash helmet. the bear goes well thats a dumb wish. but the rabbit says thats my wish.the genie snappes his fingers and says done. the bear says I wish every bear in the world exept me were girls. the genie goes thats a big wish it’ll count as two wishes. the bear goes o-okay i’ll do it.the rabbit has two wishes left so the rabbit says i wish for a motor scooter. then he gets on the scooter puts on his crash helmet and as he’s driving away he yells i wish the bear was gay.

An Arctic explorer came face to face with a polar bear. Afraid of being eaten, he fell to his knees and started praying.
When the polar bear knelt down beside him and started praying too, the man shouted, “It’s a miracle!”
The polar bear opened one eye and said “Don’t talk while I’m saying grace.”
We’ve just heard of still another result of Global Warming. Pedestrians in Iqaluit are now being pestered by polar bears panhandling for spare ice.
A Polar bear walks into a restaurant in Churchill and says to the waiter, “I’ll have a seal steak … … … … … … … … . and a side order of lemmings.”
The waiter says… “What’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I don’t know… but my father had them, too!”

Q: Where do polar bears go to dance?
A: Snowballs

Q: What is a polar bear’s favorite breakfast?
A: Ice Crispies

Q: What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A: A teddy boar!

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