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There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.

Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income.

He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, “Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy – Either way, you get your dog back!”

Why cows are depressed when milked? Ever wonder why?

At the Polish Agricultural university (P.A.U), the Professor was talking about increasing milk production of the cows, when a girl in the class asked: “Why do cows always seem depressed when being milked?”

The Professor answered, “Well my girl, if every morning at dawn they woke you up, rubbed your boobs for two hours and didn’t screw you afterwards, you’ll look depressed too!”

An old lady owned two monkeys. One day they both died, so she took them to the taxodermist.
“So you want them mounted?” asked the taxidermist.
To which she replied: “No. Holding hands will do just fine.”

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Pooh!

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A Walk.

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