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There were these three bears were out for a drive in a car, when they accidentally drove off a cliff and into a lake.
Q: Which bear did not get wet?
A: The dribear.

Q: Which bear saw the accident?
A: The neighbear.

Q: Which bear came out of the car safely?
A: The surbibear.

Q: Which bear fixed the car?
A: The Macguybear.

Q: what’s white, furry, and shaped like a tooth?
A: a molar bear!

Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.

The second hiker says, “What are you doing?”

The first responds, “I figure when the bear gets close to us, we’ll have to jump down and make a run for it.”

The second says, “Are you crazy? Don’t you know you can’t outrun a bear?

The first guy says, “I don’t have to outrun the bear… I only have to outrun you!”

A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt. He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged.

“Have you always been that way?” asked the podiatrist.

“No,” she said, not until recently. “I’ve been fucking a lot doggie style.”

“Well,” said the podiatrist, “you are going to have to stop.”

“I can’t,” she replied, “that’s the only way my German Shepherd fucks.”

Q: How do you catch a polar bear?

A: First, you cut a large, round hole in the ice. Next, you place enough peas around the hole to completely surround the hole.
Then, when the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole.

It was so cold…
people were waking up the bears and offering them honey popsicles if they’d share their hibernation secrets.



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