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A king is sitting on his throne one day and is bored out of his mind. He decides to make a contest to kill his boredom. He tells his servant to send out for a person to find the biggest ping pong ball and the reward would be one million dollars.

So his servant announces this to the kingdom and everyone rushes out. The first man walks into the king’s castle and has a huge ball 2 feet long. The king is in shock and says, “That is a huge ping pong ball.” He tells the man to step aside, and wait for the others turn.

Another man brings a ping pong ball 4 feet long. The king is astonished, and says to the man, “Wow! That’s a humungous ball. I think you’ll probably be the winner, but lets wait to see the last person’s ball!”

The next man starts pushing this HUGE, hairy , bloody, brown thing into the kings castle. The king jumps up and screams, “Good god man! What kind of ping pong ball is that?”

The man replies, “Ping pong ball? Ping pong ball? I thought you said KING KONG’S BALLS?!?”

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Jim?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Jimmy tearfully, “and I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Little Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”

Q: Why do Mammoths wear red toe polish?

A: Sorry, we don’t tell Polish jokes on this web site.

Q: What is a bear’s favourite drink?
A: Koka- Koala!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A: A cat-a-logue!

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