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Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.

Q: What does an elephant use as a vibrator?
A: An epilectic.

Q: What does a bankrupt frog say?

A: “Baroke, baroke, baroke.”

A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front
of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that
the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the
fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and
makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized,
and the lady taken to hospital.

Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day. “Are you hurt?”
she asks.

She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”

As you may know, the Albuquerque housing market is becoming as tight as the one in Denver. My friend Chuck, after searching for months, found the perfect place. Family neighborhood, garden/lawn, etc. The problem was, he has a dog, and the landlord specified “No dogs.” Rather than go on searching, he decided to go stealth, and not tell the landlord about his dog (a golden retriever).All went well for months. Except for one thing: the family that lived downstairs had a rabbit that they kept in a cage in the garden area. One day, the father of the family walked into the garden to find the dog scratching at the cage, trying to get at the rabbit.

He immediately went to the landlord and complained. The landlord threatened to kick Chuck out. But Chuck, being quite persuasive- and punctual with rent checks- convinced the landlord to keep him and his dog. On the condition that that Chuck keep his dog out of the garden area. Months went by with no incidence. However, his girlfriend stayed home sick at his place one day. She, not knowing the garden rule, let the dog out.

Chuck came home and, to his dismay, found that the dog wasn’t in the house. He opened the back door, and there at the steps was his dog. Dead rabbit in mouth. Needless to say, Chuck panicked. Not wanting to face certain eviction(and possible jail time), he took matters into his own hands. He bathed the dead rabbit, blow- dried its hair (OK he was desperate) and carefully placed the rabbit back in the cage. Natural causes, right? Nothing happened.

After an excruciating week, he finally approached his neighbor one morning on the way to work. “How is everything?” asked Chuck. “We’re moving” replied the man. “This is a sick neighborhood.” “Why? What happened?” replied Chuck. The neighbor replied: “Some sick bastard dug up our recently deceased rabbit, washed it, combed its hair, and put it back in its cage.”

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