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Q: If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
A: Snowbows.

Q: What is one horsepower?

A: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.

Q: Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
A: The retail store.

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.” he monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
“You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

“Well, did you see this?”
“Yes,” motioned the monkey.
“What happened?”
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
“They were drinking?” asked the officer.
“Yes.”
“What else?”
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
“They were smoking marijuana?”
“Yes.”
“What else?”
The monkey motioned “Screwing.”
“They were screwing, too?” asked the astounded officer.
“Yes.”
“Now wait, you’re saying your owners were drinking, smoking and screwing before they wrecked.”
“Yes.”
“What were you doing during all this?”
“Driving” motioned the monkey.

Q: What kind of monkeys grow on vines?
A: Grey apes



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