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Q: Why can’t a man eat like a bird?
A: Have you ever tried to pick up food with your pecker?

Q: What’s white, furry, likes to dance, and wears short leather pants?
A: A polka bear!

Q: What do you do when a pig has a heart attack?

A: You call an hambulance!

Q: Why did the sled dog run in circles?
A: It was the watchdog and needed winding.

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, “Jesus is watching you.”

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot, “Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?”

“Yes”, said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot, “What’s your name?”

“Clarence,” said the bird.

“That’s a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?”

The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the rottweiller Jesus.”

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