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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5689)      

Father to Yuppette’s boyfriend, who arrived to take her on a date: “She’ll be right down. Care for a game of chess ?”

One Yuppette to another: “He likes my company, and I just love his. I think it’s called the First Fidelity Trust.”

Two Yuppettes were discussing their current relationships: “At first he seemed dull and uninteresting, but when you finally get to know him, he’s downright boring.”

The Yuppette was considering the proposal of marriage she had just received: “Let me hear that part again where you realize you’re not half good enough for me.”

The Yuppette was standing on the porch, with her Mother, watching her boyfriend depart: “But Mother, I’m positive he’s been faithful to me. The seat belts never need readjusting.”

I have a new definition for y’all to consider. A Lesbian Yuppette is nothing more than a mannish depressive with delusions of gender.

So many Yuppettes seem to appreciate the quiet things in life – Like the folding of a five hundred dollar bill.

The Yuppette was obviously tiring of her current beau when she asked: “When people ask me what I see in you Raymond, what shall I tell them ?”

The bored Yuppette said to her date: “I think I’ll have another drink. It makes you so witty and charming.”

The Yuppette was trying to reassure her lover during sex: “Of course you’re not the first man I’ve made love to. You know I think more of you than to just use you as a guinea pig.”

It’s easy to spot the nouveaux riche Yuppettes in Columbia, Maryland. They’re the ones watering their flower beds with bottled water.

You’ll very seldom see a Yuppette eating a hot dog. None are certified or warranted by the Kennel Club.

Most Yuppette’s have no use for men who try to mess up the country’s economy by living within their income.

I’ve noticed the oddest behavior in most Yuppettes. The only time they won’t look in a mirror is when they’re pulling out of a parking space.

This phrase that most Yuppettes use – “professional woman.” I mean, come on. When’s the last time you met an “amateur” one?

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32428)      

Are you the weakest link? I am going to ask you three questions. And you have to answer them instantly. You can’t take your time, you have to answer immediately. O.K.?
Let’s find just how clever you really are…
Ready?
GO !!!!!

First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second. What position do you finish?

Answer: If you answer that you arrived first, then you are absolutely wrong! Because you overtake the second and you take his place so you arrived second!
To answer the second question don’t take as much time as you took for the first question.

Second Question:
If you overtake the last then you arrive… ?

Answer: If you answer that you arrived second last then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST!
The answer is wrong! You’re not very good at this are you?

Third Question:
Very very Tricky maths! Note: This riddle must be done IN YOUR HEAD ONLY and NOT using paper and a pen. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10.
What is the total? (scroll down for answer)

Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100. Don’ t believe it? Check with your calculator! The decimal sequence confuses our brain, that always jumps to the highest decimals (100s instead of 10s).
That should have you in a bad mood for the rest of the day!!!

You are the weakest link. Goodbye!

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Related:  Light Bulb (+1131), Professional (+1059), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?

A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the AD (agg. demand) to the right

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32428)      

Q. What’s better than roses on your piano?
A. Two lips on your organ…

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Related:  Politics (+3830)      

Bush legal team sues Santa Claus

AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) – Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.

The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a federal judge to “hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification.”

“There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It’s totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, checking, and re-checking over and over again must stop now,” said former Secretary James Baker.

Baker further claimed that unnamed GOP observers witnessed an elf removing all boys named Justin from the ‘nice’ list, filing them under ‘naughty’ instead because “everyone knows all boys named Justin are brats.”

Gov. Bush cited the potential for unauthorized list tampering, and blasted what he called the “crazy, crazy mess up there at the North Pole.”

“Their security is really awful, really bad,” said Bush. “My mother just walked right in, told ‘em she was Mrs. Claus. They didn’t check her ID or nothing.”

Meanwhile, Dick Cheney, Gov. Bush’s running mate, issued a direct plea to St. Nick himself. “Mr. Claus, I call on you to do the honorable thing, and quit checking your list. The children of the world have had enough. They demand closure now,” Cheney said, adding that his granddaughter has already selected a name for the pony she’s asked for.

The Rev. Jesse Jackson was quick to respond to this latest development with plans to lead his protesters from Florida to the North Pole via dogsled. The “Million Man Mush” is scheduled to leave Friday. “We need red suits and sleighs, not law suits and delays,” Jackson said.

Santa Claus could not be reached for comment, but an spokeself said he was “deeply distressed” by news of the pending legal action against him.

“He’s losing weight, and he hasn’t said ‘Ho Ho’ for days,” said the spokeself. “He’s just not feeling jolly.”

A weary nation can relate.

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