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Related:  Christmas (+1017), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: Why doesn’t Santa have any children ?

A: Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it’s down the chimney.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32430)      

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

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Related:  Q & A (+15909), Sex (+4815)      

Q: What is the meaning of “sanctity”?

A: It’s french, for a lady with five breasts.

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Related:  Animals (+5196)      

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse
falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go
and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to
the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s
Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He
then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and
drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to
the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, “I
think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched over the width of
the hole and said, “Grab for my ‘thingy’ and pull yourself up.” And
the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes to pick up
chicks.

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Related:  Redneck (+1460)      

After a Southern man moved from Atlanta to a New Jersey suburb, a fellow passenger on a train asked how he liked it in the country.

“It was difficult at first,” the man replied, “but it’s a lot better since I got myself a paramour.”

The passenger was astonished. “A paramour?” he said. “Does your wife know?”

“Sure,” said the Southerner. “She doesn’t care how I cut the grass.”

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