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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32429)      

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,”Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!”
The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’
Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.”
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, “You’re an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you’d be a ten!!!”

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Related:  Politics (+3829)      

President Vladimir Putin called President Bush with an emergency:
“Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the Russian President cried; “My people’s favourite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!”

“Vladimir, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you.”, replied the President.

“I do need your help,” said Putin. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tie us over?”

“Why certainly! I’ll get right on it!”, said Bush.

“Oh, and one more small favour, please?”, said Putin.

“Yes?”, replied the President.

“Could the condoms be red in colour and at least 10″ long and 4″ in diameter?” said Yeltsin.

“No problem,” replied the President and with that Bush hung up and called the President of Trojan condoms. “I need a favour, you’ve got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia.”

“Consider it done,” said the President of Trojan.

“Great! Now listen, they have to be red in colour, 10″ long and 4″ wide.”

“Easily done. Anything else?”

“Yeah,” said the President, “Print ‘MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM’ on each one.”

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Related:  Christmas (+1016)      

Every year you’re bound to hear some youngster say, “I wish that Christmas would last all year.”

What they don’t know is that it does.

Wait ’til they grow-up & have to pay off the credit cards.

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Related:  Sex (+4815)      

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: What are YOU shaking for? She’s going to eat me!

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Related:  LGBT (+289), Q & A (+15911)      

Q: What do you called two naked lesbians in a canoe?
A: Fur-Traders.

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