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Two guys where walking down the street when they saw two dogs humping.
One said, “I wonder how much liquor it would take to get my wife to do it that way”.
So they made a bet of 10 bucks on whose wife would do it on the lease amount of liqour.
After a week they met in a bar.
“Well”, said the first guy “How much liquor did it take”.
“A pint of whiskey”, replied the other guy.
The first guy said “You win, It took me a whole bottle just to get her out in the yard.”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32383)      

Q: What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A: Sir.
Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can’t hear you.
Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.
Q: What’s grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!
Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmellow?
A: So she wouldn’t fall in the hot chocolate.
Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don’t, you get down from a duck.
Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.
Q: What’s grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What’s grey and white on the inside and red and white on the outside?
A: Campbell’s Cream of Elephant soup.
Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.

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Related:  Animals (+5185), Q & A (+15907)      

There were these three bears were out for a drive in a car, when they accidentally drove off a cliff and into a lake.
Q: Which bear did not get wet?
A: The dribear.

Q: Which bear saw the accident?
A: The neighbear.

Q: Which bear came out of the car safely?
A: The surbibear.

Q: Which bear fixed the car?
A: The Macguybear.

Q: what’s white, furry, and shaped like a tooth?
A: a molar bear!

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Related:  Politics (+3831)      

This simple three question test illustrates how often Bill Clinton must be telling lies.

1. Is the Pope catholic?
2. Does Windows have bugs?
3. Does Clinton lie?

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Related:  Marriage (+787), Military (+607)      

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books.
Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. “Oh darling” he gushed, “Come here… let me look at you… let me hold you! Let’s have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I’ve missed your lovin’ so much!”
The wife, keeping her distance, said, “All in good time lover. First, let’s hear you play that harmonica.”

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