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Related:  Animals (+5195)      

I’ve never understood why women love cats.
Cats are independent, they don’t listen,
they don’t come in when you call, they like
to stay out all night, come home and expect
to be fed and stroked, then want to be left
alone and sleep. In other words, every quality
that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32429)      

Halloween Funnies:
What do Skeletons say before eating? Bone Appetite.
What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common? Both have blank expressions and are hollow inside.
Why did the Vampire get fired from the Blood Bank? He was caught drinking on the job.
Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating? Women can see right through them.
Why are Vampires Democrats? They wanted Gore in 2000.
What kind of clothes do Zombies wear? Decay NY.
Why aren’t there any famous skeletons? They’re a bunch of no bodies.
What kind of music do Mummies listen to? Wrap.
What do you call a guy turned on by a witch? Scared stiff.

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Related:  Professional (+1060), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he does not have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32429)      

This freelance journalist discovered Adolf Hitler was alive and well and
living in South America. He managed to wrangle a ‘once-in-a-lifetime’
interview with Hitler on the condition that he was not to reveal where
Hitler was living. He went to this interview, and lo and behold, yes, it
was Adolf Hitler, looking very old. He interviewed him, asking him all
sorts of questions, and as a final question, asked “What are you doing now,
in the twilight of your life?”

Hitler replied “Hah! Twilight of my life! I’ll have you know that I am
secretly putting together the 4th Reich, right here in South America! This
time we’ll do it right. We have a foolproof plan – this time we will kill
EVERY JEW in the world – and 6 MEXICANS!”.

The journalist asked “… but… but… but why 6 MEXICANS?”

Hitler jumped to his feet and yelled “SEE, I TOLD THEM THAT NO-ONE GIVES A
SHIT ABOUT THE JEWS!”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32429)      

TOP 10 McGreevey jokes….

10 NJ state bird – swallow.
9 New Jersey Turnpike renamed Hershey Highway.
8 NJ raises terror alert level to lavender.
7 We know he didn’t like bush, but this is ridiculous.
6 Now we know why McGreevey enjoyed “polling” so much.
5 What does McGreevey and the Israeli navy have in common?
Jewish seamen.
4 NJ DMV now calls rear-end accidents a “mcgreevey”.
3 Gives new meaning to “stuffing the ballot box”.
2 Post headline: “McGreevey goes down!”
1 It shouldn’t take McGreevey long to get out of the governor’s
mansion – he’s already got all his schitt packed!

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