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Related:  Light Bulb (+1131), Q & A (+15908)      

Q: Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A1: No, big daddy, but hum a few bars and I’ll fake it.
A2: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen in on the guest list.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

WE DON’T SERVE WOMEN HERE!
(you have to bring your own)

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
values.
Stu said, “I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?”
Leroy replied, “I’m not sure, What was her maiden name?”

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32387)      

1. Psychiatrists say that one of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they’re OK, you’re it.
2. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
3. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
4. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
5. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
6. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
7. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
8. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
10. Paul’s Law: You can’t fall off the floor.
11. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
12. Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It’s easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you’d be paranoid, too.
13. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.
14. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

15. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can’t find them.
16. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
17. A .44 Magnum beats four aces.

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Related:  Men vs. Women (+5685), Over the Hill (+599)      

A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting.
Bernie turns to Marv and says, “Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too.”
Marv smiles and says, “Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?”
Bernie says, “You’ll going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?”
Marv grins again, “Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…”
“Yes, yes, that’s it!” cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife…
“Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?”

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