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Related:  Animals (+5196)      

An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to
top up a camel with water.
“That way,” he said, “You get an extra day out of them between drinks.”
As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed
them over the camel’s balls.
The camel sucked in its breath and took on three days’ extra water.
“Doesn’t that hurt?” asked a tourist.
“Nah,” replied the bloke. “Only if you get your fingers caught!”

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Related:  Blonde (+4664), Q & A (+15909)      

Q: Why do blonds climb chain-link fences?

A: To see what’s on the other side.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32427)      

When the staff goes out after work, they talk about football or basketball.
When Middle management gets together, they talk about tennis or baseball.
Top management discusses golf.
Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are.

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Related:  Unsorted Jokes (+32427)      

Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat?

Shut up and eat your meat loaf.

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Related:  Sex (+4816)      

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Should I really shave my balls?
If I don’t, she’ll surely bitch.
Does she care how much I’ll itch?

Take the razor and lather up,
Gawd that bitch is so corrupt!
Doesn’t she care that I could slip?
Shave my balls and cut off my dick?

Easy now, hands don’t shake,
She’ll call me “Stumpy” with one mistake.
Pubes in her teeth she really can’t bear,
If I want some head… get ridda the hair.

So I shave my balls all nice and slick,
Did it up nice without one nick!
“Feel ‘em baby, they’re so smooth!”
“Take off your clothes, get in the groove!”

She looks at me from our little bed,
“I’m sleepy, Baby… ain’t giving no head!”
She rolls on over and gives me her back,
I’m so pissed off, I’m about to crack!

Next day, it’s breakfast in the sheets,
I spoon her bites which she gladly eats.
And I must confess I think it’s fair,
That her omelet was made with pubic hair.

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